Monday, August 15, 2005

Only a Mother Would Understand...

I am used to leaving Jed during the day...but it has always been with my sister, my mom or my husband. Today though was the first time I left him with a non-family member. It was his first day of school.

We enrolled him in a local montessori. It is where my sister's kids went, the youngest is still there. It is a good school and it makes picking up Jed and Lindsey easy.

I did fine getting ready last night. Setting out his clothes, packing his lunch. Shelby fixed him a special breakfast and got him dressed. I did fine driving in to town up until I dropped Shelby off at school. The minute she got out, I started tearing up. I told myself I wouldn't no matter what. I wasn't the least bit concerned about dropping him off or his well-being. I know he is going to love it. But I just couldn't stop the tears. I have always cried at weddings, births, deaths, good-byes, school concerts, the day Shelby won the school spelling bee, movies, even commercials. It's just who I am.

I ended up staying 45 mintues which isn't too bad. Jed ran around the room checking things out, calling me over to show me what new toys he had found. After about 30 minutes he began wandering further and further before running back. Right before I left, I told him to tell Mama good-bye and give me a kiss and he did then turned back towards the sink. (He has a new facination with washing his hands.) At first I figured I would get him out of the sink but decided the teachers could handle him.

As I walked out the door, the director told me I could call every hour if I wanted. Here it is almost time to go get him and I haven't called, I didn't need to because deep in my heart I know he is in good hands and I know he is having fun.

I haven't posted much lately however this morning I had a burning urge to get this out. Don't know if it is to share it or just to release it. This emotion...this mother's love...

I don't even have time to proofread this so please ignore any mispellings or grammar mistakes because I must go....go and get my baby from his first day of school...

(oh man I just realized that I will have to go through this again in 3 years big time when Shelby goes off to college...I better start stockpiling the kleenex)