Mother's Guilt...

I took the kids to the dentist yesterday for a cleaning. This was Jed's second visit. Our regular hygienist was not there so we had a new girl. Poor Jed. The new girl was not as gentle as our usual hygienist and continually gagged him while trying to brush on the fluoride treatment. But he was a trooper and made it through without tears. And most importantly, he still a good perception about visiting the dentist.

But I wonder if this will continue. They found a tiny cavity in one of his molars. And now my guilt has wiggled in. Is it my fault he has a cavity even before he is four because he isn't brushing like he should? Or is it that he has inherited my teeth (which still makes it my fault in a mother's guilt kinda way)? After all he has inherited my lips and my wide chubby feet.

Then I have to sit here and worry about him getting the cavity filled. Will the whole procedure scare him of the dentist? Will I be able to be strong for him and be in the room with him while they work on it? (I'm such a wienie about it all and was in near tears yesterday just thinking about the possibility of my son being scared.) I've already mentioned to my husband he may have to go with him because I know me being in tears will more likely scare Jed than anything else. But how can I not be there for him? Then there is the question of do we use nitrous (laughing gas) to calm him or will he not need it? How will he feel afterwards if we do (or don't) use it?

All this goes through my head and then, to keep myself from going absolutely crazy, I have tell myself it is just a tiny cavity. Not a big deal. It is even in a baby tooth so he will get a 2nd chance at having a cavity free mouth. And many kids have had dental work done at a young age and lived through it. Plus he has a high pain tolerance especially if you promise him a new Transformer toy.

Back and forth, up and down, around and around my mind goes and it has only been 24 hours since we scheduled the appointment. I have to deal with this for another 2 weeks. I may have to take a sick day that day, not to take care of him but to recuperate from my nerves.

Oh the joys of being a mother...