Why Didn't Someone Tell Me...

...that the brain a child is born with STOPS working the day they turn 16?

I was aware that the warranty on the brain expired when it turned 13 and we have been living on borrowed time for the past 3 years. Between 13 and 16 we have been able to kick start it each time it has sputtered. However the day it turned 16, there was a complete and utter shutdown. I've tried coaxing, sweet talking, yelling, screaming, bribery, encouragement and even restriction with absolutely no luck. That 16 year old brain just refuses to work.

If I had known this was going to happen, I would have bought the girl a new brain for her birthday instead of those ridiculously skinny jeans!