Crazy Thoughts...

For the last few months, Jed has been going to bed somewhere between 7:00 and 9:00. No matter what time he goes to bed, he would wake up an hour later, drink a cup of milk and then go back to bed. Three or four nights a week he would also wake up anywhere between 2:00 and 4:00.

Last night, we laid Jed down a little before 9:00. I expected bedtime to go smoothly after all he surprisingly took 3 fantastic naps yesterday. At naptime, after turning on the cd player (with mediation music), the aquarium music box at the head of his crib and the keyboard music toy at the foot of his crib, I sat him in the middle with a book. After I closed the door, what little fussing would quickly turn to 10 minutes of singing and talking, another minute of fussing to the silence of sleeping. But bedtime didn’t go that way. After 30 minutes of fussing, crying, 3 trips upstairs, rocking, singing, standing by the crib, back rubbing…I gave up and brought him back downstairs. I handed him over to my husband who was going to try to give him more milk but that just intensified Jed’s crying. Actually it went from crying to screaming. So I sat on the couch and held him (it touched my heart that his crying stopped immediately). During the time that I held him, he let out a little burp which could explain his discomfort and refusal of more milk. He soon drifted back to sleep so I handed him back to my husband, commenting that Jed would probably be up a few times in the night. After we were sure Jed was in a deep sleep, I took him back upstairs and placed him in his crib and I went to bed myself.

At 6:15, I woke up and realized that I hadn’t heard Jed all night long AND he was still asleep. My first thought was that something was wrong. He either wasn’t breathing or someone took him during the middle of the night. I know…crazy thoughts. I haven’t these crazy thoughts in a very long time, especially since Jed is always waking up at least once during the night. I knew he was okay in spite of the crazy thoughts. I briefly thought about checking on him but realized that if I wanted to take a shower this morning I had best do it before possibly waking him. The crazy thoughts came back as I was wrapping the towel around me as I got out of the shower. Perhaps my husband ran off with the baby, but then he would have to take my car because of the baby seat. This was the craziest of all thoughts since my husband and I get along wonderfully and the probability of him doing something this was so insane that it was well.. insane. But I knew he was okay, crazy thoughts be damned. But just in case there was something bad upstairs, I preferred to discover while fully dressed. If by some infinitesimal chance something had happened to Jed in the night I knew I wouldn’t be in any condition to keep a towel wrapped around me…I have my modesty you know. As I was pulling on my shirt I heard him start fussing. See I knew he was okay! But let me tell you I haven’t missed those crazy thoughts that go through a mother’s mind when her child sleeps longer than usual…