...what is so fondly referred to as "The Terrible Twos".
A Baby's Simple Guideline of "The Terrible Twos"
- Demand things be done YOUR way
- Demand things be NOW
- If 1 or 2 are not fulfilled by the parental unit or guardian to your complete satisfaction, go into "Throwing a Fit" mode.
Steps for "Throwing a Fit"
Always...
Express you displeasure with the situation by choosing any of the following: crying, screaming, hollering, sobbing, yelling...
If standing up...
Arch your back and fling yourself backwards on the floor so you may commence "Throwing a Fit". If you happen to crack your head on the floor (or any other object) on your flight backwards, make sure to cry extra hard and loud. (You may also use the Forward Fling however more points will be awarded to the more daring and dangerous Backward Fling)
If sitting in the high chair at home...
Fling anything and everything in the vicinity on the floor. Make sure to good, strong, wide sweeps with your arms so that items go farther. Points given for distance with extra points for throwing the sippy cup to the ground hard enough that the top pops off. Double the extra points if the cup lands on hardwood floors or carpeting.
If sitting in the high chair at a restaurant...
Follow the same steps as if you were at home it is very critical to add extremely loud crying and shrill screaming. Points awarded to decibel level and number of restaurant patrons you annoy. Super duper quadruple points for each patron you cause to walk out of the restaurant. (Does not apply to parental units and guardians).
If sitting near another human or animal...
Slap, pinch, bite or pull hair. If a cat or dog, tails and ears are open for pulling.
If holding a toy...
Bite and/or throw toy down.
Continue with any combination of the steps until parental units give up and give in, allowing you to have whatever you wanted in the first place or you become distracted by either another person, toy or song on TV.
We are entering this phase and Jed isn't even two yet! Oh please give me the strength and more importantly the patience to survive this.
Oh dear, how long will this last????
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